Dear Exhausted Woman: This is Your Permission Slip

For the woman who's been running on empty for so long, she forgot what "full" feels like

Dear exhausted woman,

I see you.

You're reading this at 11 PM after everyone's finally in bed, stealing a few minutes for yourself before you collapse into sleep that never quite feels restful.

Or maybe it's 5 AM, and you're awake before anyone else, already running through the mental list of everything you have to do today.

Or maybe it's the middle of the afternoon, and you're sitting in your car in a parking lot, trying to gather the energy to go into the grocery store, wondering how you're going to make it through the rest of the day.

You're exhausted.

Not just tired. Not just "I need a nap" tired.

Soul-tired. Bone-tired. Tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix.

Tired from years—maybe decades—of:

• Putting everyone else first

• Working too much

• Giving too much

• Doing too much

• Being everything to everyone while being nothing to yourself

• Surviving when you should have been thriving

I see you because I was you.

And this is the permission slip I wish someone had given me twenty years ago.

PERMISSION SLIP #1: You Are Allowed to Rest

Not after you finish everything on your to-do list.
Not after you've earned it by being productive enough.
Not after everyone else's needs are met.

Now. Right now. Exactly as you are.

You are allowed to:

• Take a nap in the middle of the day

• Say "I can't today" without explaining why

• Turn off your phone for an afternoon

• Cancel plans because you need to be alone

• Do absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it

• Rest even when there's still work to be done

Rest is not a reward for productivity. Rest is a biological necessity.

Your body needs it. Your nervous system needs it. Your soul needs it.

You don't have to earn the right to rest.

In the Soft Hearts Society, we practice rest as a sacred act. Through monthly guided meditations, Reiki transmissions, and "nothing time" rituals, we learn that rest isn't lazy—it's revolutionary.

In Module 2 (Releasing Family Guilt and Shame), we work specifically with the guilt that comes with resting. We trace it back to its roots—often inherited from mothers and grandmothers who were never allowed to rest either.

PERMISSION SLIP #2: You Are Allowed to Say No

Without apology. Without over-explaining. Without guilt.

You are allowed to say no to:

• Requests that drain you

• Family obligations that hurt you

• One-sided friendships

• Work that exploits you

• Anything that feels like a "should" instead of a "want."

"No" is a complete sentence.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for protecting your time, energy, or peace.

Your no is not mean. It's not selfish. It's not cruel.

Your no is self-preservation.

In our Soft Life Boundary Setting course (Month 6), we practice saying no. We learn:

• Boundary scripts for family, work, and friends

• How to say no without guilt

• What to do when people push back

• Somatic practices that help your body feel safe disappointing people

During weekly live calls, we witness each other's nos. We celebrate the courage it takes to prioritize ourselves.

PERMISSION SLIP #3: You Are Allowed to Put Yourself First

Not sometimes. Not occasionally. Not "when you have time."

Daily. Regularly. Without guilt.

You are allowed to:

• Prioritize your needs over others' wants

• Spend money on yourself without justifying it.

• Take time for your hobbies, interests, and desires.

• Make decisions based on what YOU need, not what others expect.

• Disappoint people in service of honoring yourself.

Putting yourself first doesn't make you selfish.

It makes you sustainable.

You can't pour from an empty cup. You can't give what you don't have. You can't love others well if you don't love yourself first.

Self-care isn't selfish. It's necessary.

In the Soft Hearts Society, we learn to put ourselves first through:

• The "Three Things" Rule—choosing what actually matters to us

• Energy reclamation practices—redirecting our life force toward ourselves

• Desire mapping—reconnecting with what we actually want

PERMISSION SLIP #4: You Are Allowed to Change Your Mind

About anything. Anytime.

You are allowed to:

• Want something different than you wanted before

• Leave relationships that no longer serve you.

• Quit jobs, friendships, commitments that hurt you.

• Change your beliefs, values, or opinions.

• Become a different version of yourself.

You are not obligated to stay the same person forever just because people are comfortable with who you've been.

Growth means change. Healing means change. Liberation means change.

In Module 8 (Reclaiming Power through Guided Drum Journey), we work with reclaiming our power to change. Through drum journey and ritual, we practice releasing who we were told to be and claiming who we actually are.

PERMISSION SLIP #5: You Are Allowed to Ask for Help

You don't have to do it all alone.
You don't have to be strong all the time.
You don't have to figure everything out by yourself.

You are allowed to:

• Ask for support when you're struggling.

• Hire help when you can afford it.

• Delegate tasks you don't have to do yourself

• Lean on others instead of being the one everyone leans on.

• Admit you need help without feeling weak.

Asking for help is not weakness. It's wisdom.

You were never meant to carry everything alone.

In the Soft Hearts Society, we practice receiving help. We learn that community is medicine—we don't have to heal, provide for everyone, or figure it all out alone.

PERMISSION SLIP #6: You Are Allowed to Heal at Your Own Pace

Not on anyone else's timeline.
Not faster because someone else thinks you should be "over it by now."
Not slower because you're "taking too long."

At your own pace. In your own time. On your own terms.

You are allowed to:

• Take years to heal from something that happened in minutes.

• Have bad days even after months or years of healing.

• Revisit old wounds that you thought were healed.

• Need professional support (therapy, coaching, community)

• Not be "healed" yet and still be worthy of love and belonging.

Healing is not linear.

Some days you'll feel like you're moving forward. Some days you'll feel like you're back at the beginning.

Both are part of the process.

In the Soft Hearts Society™, we honor non-linear healing. Our 10-month curriculum moves slowly, giving you space to integrate. We don't rush. We don't push. We honor your pace.

PERMISSION SLIP #7: You Are Allowed to Feel Whatever You're Feeling

Even if it's "negative." Even if it's "too much." Even if others are uncomfortable with it.

You are allowed to feel:

• Angry (even at people you love)

• Sad (even when "things could be worse")

• Resentful (even toward people who need you)

• Grief (even for things you never had)

• Joy (even when others are suffering)

• Nothing (numbness is a feeling too)

All of your emotions are valid.

You don't have to justify, minimize, or apologize for them.

Feel them. Let them move through you. They won't kill you.

What will hurt you is suppressing them for decades.

In the Soft Hearts Society, we hold space for ALL feelings—including anger, rage, grief, and resentment. We don't bypass with toxic positivity. We honor the full spectrum of human emotion.

PERMISSION SLIP #8: You Are Allowed to Stop Being Strong

You've been strong for so long.

Strong for your kids. Strong for your partner. Strong for your family. Strong for your friends. Strong for your job.

You're allowed to stop.

You are allowed to:

• Cry in front of people.

• Admit you're not okay.

• Show vulnerability

• Be soft instead of strong.

• Let someone else hold you for a change.

Softness is not weakness.

Softness is the bravest thing you can choose in a world that demands your constant strength.

In the Soft Hearts Society, we practice softness together. We learn that choosing softness is revolutionary.

PERMISSION SLIP #9: You Are Allowed to Want More

More rest. More joy. More peace. More love. More money. More time. More freedom.

You are allowed to:

• Want a life that feels good, not just functional.

• Desire pleasure, beauty, and ease

• Build a life that doesn't require constant survival.

• Dream bigger than what you currently have.

• Believe you deserve more than you've been given

Wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful.

It makes you human.

PERMISSION SLIP #10: You Are Allowed to Stop Reading This and Rest Right Now

Seriously.

If you're exhausted—if you've been nodding along to every word of this—you don't have to finish reading.

You can stop right now. Close your eyes. Breathe. Rest.

This will still be here later.

Your exhaustion is telling you something: You need to stop.

So stop.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

When I was bedridden from burnout—when I'd given everything to everyone until there was nothing left—I wish someone had said:

"You don't have to keep going like this."

I thought I did. I thought if I stopped, everything would fall apart. I thought I was the only one who could hold it all together.

I was wrong.

When I finally stopped—when my body forced me to stop—the world didn't end.

People figured things out. Or they didn't, and that wasn't my responsibility.

And I learned something crucial:

I am not responsible for holding up the entire world.

Neither are you.

An Invitation

If you're reading this and thinking, "Yes, but how? How do I rest when there's so much to do? How do I say no when people need me? How do I put myself first when everyone depends on me?"

That's exactly why I created the Soft Hearts Society™.

Because I needed someone to teach me how to:

• Rest without guilt

• Set boundaries without apologizing.

• Put myself first without feeling selfish.

• Heal at my own pace without pressure.

• Build a life that feels soft instead of sharp.

And when I finally learned those things (through my own hard-won healing with Rose), I knew I had to teach them to others.

The Soft Hearts Society™

We teach you how to:

• Choose yourself first

• Rest deeply

• Set boundaries that hold

• Heal generational wounds

• Connect with ancestors for support.

• Live softly in a hard world.

And we hold you while you do it.

Because you don't have to figure this out alone.

Investment:

• Monthly: $375

• 3-Month: $1,025

• Yearly: $4,050

Free Resources to Begin

→ Join me on Insight Timer for free live women's circles every Sunday at 10 am CST

→ Subscribe to my YouTube channel for teachings on rest and soft living

→ Follow on Pinterest for daily permission slips

One Last Thing

Dear exhausted woman,

You've been carrying so much for so long.

You're allowed to put it down now.

Not all at once. Not perfectly. But piece by piece, burden by burden, you're allowed to release what was never yours to carry.

You're allowed to rest.
You're allowed to heal.
You're allowed to choose yourself.
You're allowed to live softly.

This is your permission slip.

With so much love and tenderness,

Allonia & Rose
Co-Founders, Allonia Rose
Soft Hearts Society™

P.S. You don't need permission from me or anyone else to rest, to heal, to choose yourself.

But if it helps to hear it from someone who's been where you are:

You have permission. Now go rest. 💕