I Was Burned Out and Bedridden—Here's What Saved Me (And Why I Built a Community Around It)
A love letter to the woman who is exhausted, burned out, and barely holding on
Three years ago, I couldn't get out of bed.
Not because I was lazy. Not because I was depressed (though I was that too). But because my body—after decades of overworking, over-giving, and over-surviving—finally said no more.
I'd been working four jobs at once. Taking care of my narcissistic mother financially and emotionally. Housing family members while paying for everything myself. Saying yes when I meant no. Carrying burdens that were never mine to carry.
I was the provider. The fixer. The strong one. The one everyone leaned on.
And then I collapsed.
Completely. Totally. Utterly.
I couldn't cook for myself. Couldn't shower. Couldn't do laundry or pay bills or answer emails. I was just... gone. Depleted in a way that went beyond tired. It was like every cell in my body had shut down in protest.
And my thirteen-year-old daughter Rose became my caregiver.
The Breaking That Became a Beginning
Rose brought me water. Made me food. Helped me to the bathroom. Held me while I cried.
She should have been living her teenage life—worrying about school and friends and her own dreams. Instead, she was taking care of her mother who couldn't take care of herself.
She saw me at my absolute worst.
And honestly? That was the greatest gift we could have given each other.
Because in that complete breaking, we finally started talking.
Really talking.
About the trauma we'd both survived.
About the patterns we'd inherited.
About how I'd been so busy taking care of everyone else that I hadn't been there for her.
About how she'd learned to disappear because I was always overwhelmed.
About the abuse in my childhood that I'd buried so deep I'd convinced myself it never happened.
About my violent first marriage to her father.
About the narcissistic family dynamics that had shaped both of us.
We started healing together.
What Saved Me (And What I Want to Share With You)
I tried everything during those months of bedrest.
Therapy. Yes.
Medication. Absolutely.
Books and podcasts and all the self-help advice the internet could offer.
But you know what actually brought me back to myself?
My altar.
I know that might sound woo-woo or too simple. But when I couldn't do anything else—when I couldn't work or be productive or even get dressed—I could light a candle.
I could pour a cup of water for my ancestors.
I could sit in front of that small sacred space and just... be.
Not fixing. Not performing. Not achieving.
Just being.
And slowly, my ancestors started holding me in ways the living world couldn't.
They reminded me: You come from a long line of survivors. You carry strength in your bones. You are not the first to break, and you won't be the last. But you are held.
That altar became my lifeline. My daily practice of showing up for myself when I had nothing left to give. My connection to something bigger than my pain.
The Patterns I Had to Break
As I healed, I began to see the patterns clearly for the first time.
The pattern of people-pleasing that came from a mother who withheld love unless I was useful.
The pattern of over-working that came from generations of poverty and survival mode.
The pattern of having no boundaries that came from being taught my needs didn't matter.
The pattern of attracting narcissists because that's what felt familiar.
The pattern of abandoning myself to take care of everyone else.
I'd inherited these patterns. They weren't originally mine. They came from my mother, and her mother, and her mother before that—generations of women who survived by making themselves small, useful, and endlessly giving.
And I was the first one to say: This stops with me.
Rose and I talked about it endlessly during those months. How the cycles had affected her. How she'd learned to be hypervigilant, to read my moods, to disappear when I was stressed. How my burnout had hurt her even though I was "doing it all for her."
We decided to heal it together.
Not just for us, but for the generations that came before and the ones that would come after.
Why We Created the Soft Hearts Society™
Rose and I didn't set out to start a business.
We just knew we'd found something sacred in our shared healing—something we couldn't keep to ourselves.
We'd learned that:
Rest is not laziness. It's the most revolutionary act a woman can choose.
Boundaries are not cruelty. They're self-love made visible.
Softness is not weakness. It's the bravest thing you can be in a world that demands your constant depletion.
Ancestral healing is real. Your ancestors want to support you—even if they couldn't support themselves.
You don't have to heal alone. In fact, you can't. We're not meant to.
And we knew there were other women out there—so many other women—who were where I'd been.
Burned out.
Boundary-less.
Barely holding on.
Giving everything to everyone and collapsing under the weight of it all.
Women who needed permission to rest.
Women who needed to learn how to set boundaries without guilt.
Women who needed to connect with their ancestors for support.
Women who needed to heal their inner child and their shadow and their mother wounds.
Women who needed a soft place to land.
So we created it.
The Soft Hearts Society™ is our answer to the question: What if there was a community that held you exactly as you are? That didn't demand productivity or perfection? That taught you how to live softly instead of just survive?
What We Teach (And Why It Matters)
Inside the Soft Hearts Society™, we teach the practices that saved our lives:
🕯️ Altar Work
Creating a sacred space where you can connect with yourself, your ancestors, and something bigger than your pain. This 12-week foundational course walks you through building and maintaining an altar practice—even if you've never done anything "spiritual" before.
🌙 Ancestral Healing
Understanding the patterns, wounds, and strengths passed down through your lineage. Learning to call on the well ancestors for support while setting boundaries with the harmful ones. Healing what your ancestors couldn't, so your children (or the next generation) don't inherit it.
💜 Boundaries & Sacred No's
Learning to say no without over-explaining, without guilt, without abandoning yourself. Setting boundaries with family, with work, with toxic people—and holding them even when it's hard.
🌸 Inner Child & Shadow Work
Meeting the parts of yourself you've rejected, ignored, or buried. Reparenting your inner child. Integrating your shadow. Becoming whole instead of trying to be perfect.
✨ Rest & Soft Living
Deprogramming the hustle culture lie that your worth is in your productivity. Learning to rest without earning it. Building a life that feels soft instead of sharp.
👩👧 Mother-Daughter Healing
Because Rose and I healed together, we know how powerful it is when mothers and daughters do this work side by side. We offer courses specifically for healing mother wounds, breaking cycles, and building healthier relationships across generations.
This isn't a quick fix. This isn't a 30-day challenge. This is deep, slow, lifelong healing work.
And you don't have to do it alone.
Who This Is For
The Soft Hearts Society™ is for you if:
✨ You're burned out from corporate America, caretaking, or just... life
✨ You've given everything to everyone else and have nothing left for yourself
✨ You don't know how to rest without guilt consuming you
✨ You're tired of people-pleasing and never setting boundaries
✨ You're healing from trauma, childhood wounds, or generational pain
✨ You're navigating a complicated mother-daughter relationship
✨ You want to break the cycles so they don't pass to the next generation
✨ You're ready to live a soft life but don't know where to start
You don't have to have it figured out to join.
You don't have to be "healed" to belong.
You just have to be willing.
What You Get When You Join
Inside the Soft Hearts Society membership, you receive:
📅 Weekly Livestreams – Every Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. CST, Rose and I go live to teach on topics such as boundaries, rest, ancestral healing, shadow work, and soft living. Can't make it live? Replays are always available.
🧘♀️ Monthly Guided Meditations – New healing meditation released on the 1st of every month: grounding, ancestral connection, inner child healing, nervous system regulation, and more.
📚 Complete Course Library - This is ongoing work.
💬 Private Community on Heartbeat – Connect with women who truly understand. Smaller chat rooms for morning check-ins, evening wind-downs, mothers, daughters, and more. A sacred space where you're never alone.
🌙 Monthly Themes & Resources – Each month focuses on one aspect of healing (Rest, Boundaries, Grief, Shadow, Womb Wisdom, Ancestors, etc.) with rituals, journal prompts, practices, and resources.
🔮 Quarterly Deep-Dive Intensives – Four times a year, we gather for extended workshops (2-3 hours) going deeper into specific healing topics.
📖 Resource Library – 100+ journal prompts, boundary scripts, grounding techniques, printable worksheets, affirmation cards, rituals, and tools for your healing journey.
This is not a course you complete. This is a way of life you step into.
Investment Options
💜 Monthly Membership: $88/month
Perfect for testing the waters. Cancel anytime. Full access to everything.
🌸 3-Month Membership: $264
Commit to a season of healing. One payment, deeper transformation.
🕯️ Yearly Membership: $845 (Save 20%)
Best value. Full year of healing. Sustained, long-term transformation.
All memberships include the exact same access to courses, community, and content. The only difference is billing frequency and pricing.
JOIN THE SOFT HEARTS SOCIETY™ →
What Makes This Different
There are numerous wellness communities available. A lot of courses on healing and self-care.
Here's what makes the Soft Hearts Society™ different:
✨ We Don't Do Toxic Positivity
You don't have to "think positive" or "choose happiness" here. We hold space for rage, grief, shadow, and everything in between. All of you is welcome.
✨ We Don't Do Hustle Culture
There are no deadlines, no pressure to complete courses, no "falling behind." You move at your pace. Rest is sacred here.
✨ We're Trauma-Informed
Rose and I have both lived through trauma. We know what it's like. We create safety without coddling, challenge without pressure.
✨ We're Mother-Daughter Founded
Our lived experience of healing together across generations informs everything we teach. We know this work from the inside.
✨ We Honor the Tribal
This isn't about individual achievement. It's about collective healing. We're rebuilding the village, the circle, the sisterhood that we've all been missing.
The Truth I Need You to Know
Healing is not linear.
There will be days when you feel like you're moving backward. Days when the pain is overwhelming. Days when you want to quit.
That's healing too.
You're not going to join the Soft Hearts Society and suddenly have your life together. You're not going to set one boundary and be "fixed." You're not going to do one meditation and feel peaceful forever.
This is deep, messy, ongoing work.
But here's what will happen:
You'll start to notice the patterns.
You'll catch yourself before you say yes when you mean no.
You'll rest without the guilt crushing you.
You'll cry and let yourself feel it instead of pushing it down.
You'll remember who you were before survival mode took over.
You'll feel held by women who understand.
You'll connect with ancestors who guide you.
You'll break cycles that have run for generations.
And you won't do it alone.
You'll have Rose and me. You'll have the community. You'll have your ancestors. You'll have weekly teachings and monthly meditations and resources for every step of the journey.
You'll have a soft place to land.
An Invitation
This is your invitation to come home to yourself.
To rest after decades of running.
To soften after years of surviving.
To be held after a lifetime of holding everyone else.
The Soft Hearts Society™ is waiting for you.
Your altar is waiting to be built.
Your ancestors are waiting to be honored.
Your inner child is waiting to be held.
Your future self is waiting for you to begin.
Will you join us?
With So Much Love,
Allonia & Rose
Co-Founders, Allonia Rose
Holders of the Soft Hearts Society™
P.S. – Rose wants you to know:
"You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have it together. You just have to show up. That's enough. You're enough."
She's right. You are.
Welcome home, Soft Heart. 🕯️
